Baked Poseidon (2010)

BP!

1.

Bacchus & Poseidon

were sittin’ in a Bachelor Pad, 

wondering why Bees don’t Pee

But Paul Revere, a Basilisk Python 

of Beach Pus, Blew Past

with his Basso Profundo

& his Barrelhouse Piano

(Booker, Professor, Bobby Picket)

Bumpersticker Prophecies

“The British ‘R’ Pissing

The British ‘R’ Pissing”

Banned Photos of Bird Puke,

Buried Pipefitters, Bloody Paws

Broadcast Preventers, Birth-defect Party

Bankrupt Providers, Bush’s People, 

Bristol Palin Beauty Pageant

Bad Planning Blue Print Blunder Pirates!

Backpedalling Populists, Belch Preservers--

Beloved Putrefaction, and Blocked Punts!

& I can almost smell, your BP Sheets!

Bureaucratic Pollution & Beautiful Pain

Babylonian Pyromaniacs & Blackwater Perverts

B-Movie Protagonists, the Bossy Protocol

of Born-Again Prostitutes, Birds of Prey

Barking Pimps, Biosphere Puncturers

Benzedrine Pushers, Budget Presumption, Blind Privilege

Bombing Pro-Lifers, Boycotting Pedestrians

Briefcase Producer, Bronze Prig!

Blasted Pups! Blasphemous Patricians!

Bizarre-Purposed, Bitter Puritans & Blowout Peddlers

Bill (the) Poor! A Big Puddle Bikini Punishes

Bimbo Punks & Baby Progressives.

Bodacious Psychos, & Bully Price-Fixers. Bulletproof Pricks!

Border Propaganda--Bracero Perpetual & The Bootstrap Property Tax

Bottom-line Plutocracy!

Again, Bill (the) Poor!

2.

“Ball of Pollution, that’s what BP is today, hey hey...”

a bright probe, and a breathless prodigal...

a briney problem--boom proof, bucket pressure, brand-new progress

broad privacy, bubbling promiscuity, byronic prestige...breathing proceeds

branch prometheus, brotherly prime mover, beautiful people

broom prince, bounce pronounce, brain picking, bug preference

botanical prompt, bosom promotion, brawny projectiles, button power

bruise primitive, bittersweet pouch buttocks poseur, buttery porn

buxom populace born popular in busy poorhouse beat poet barefoot & pregnant

beneath pajamas, brilliant profanity barren pornography basin st. prayer

blessed probation brittle prize burnt porpoise broker priority brownie points

Bristly Prissies! Bringdown Prison! 

(breast-beating pity-party)

Oh Brackish Pub of Brave Prohibitors, Box Promoters, Bottom-Line Plutocrats,

Bush-league Polygamists. Ye Billionaire Profits from Bailout Pay, ye Biblical Paradox of the “Boat People,” are you really going to donate money so the community college can stay open? Oh, thank you---thank you...

3.

Here’s some even Better Possibilities for your new advertisement

(clean up your image and the act will follow, right?)

How can we best undo all these people calling you BASTARD PUSSY?

I think you should change from Beyond Petroleum to Bikes & Pedestrians--

just gives people a positive image (don’t worry, you can still sell oil wink wink)

And what about that new song “BLOOD PURSE” by BONDAGE PROVIDENTIAL?

Yeah, I know it’s taking off among the tea-baggers, but our firm held a contest

and check out the top 5 PRO-B-P songs. Here’s a real fun summer song called “BLOW-DRIED PUBERTY” by a neo-beach boys band called THE BOAT PRUDES. A Psychedelic freak-folk band called BON-BON PROVERB’s got a cryptic one called “Bonafied Pseudonym” (I hear the goth gals really love that one, well, until they find out the bands name--we can change the band’s name...) 

We got this Barrelhouse Piano comp (we could even sell at every local franchise of BP; proceeds going to your clean-up) by the Boogie-Woogie Protestants. What do you think, ole boy, surely we could help you bulldoze the present!

Heavy metal band called

BULLET PRESERVATION 

or an all-white Texas gospel choir to sing 

BUILDING PREDESTINATION?

Certainly you must do something now to get rid of all the other names 

you’re being called now---A BATHETIC PERFORMANCE,

or at least a BYZANTINE POLITBURO

How about BANNED PARENTHOOD! 

BYE-BYE PORPOISE, or BOUGHT POPE

Oh, yeah, and of course BOMB PERSIA could make a comeback

Bourgeois Plagiarism, Business Poverty, Bumper-to-Bumper Police State

You’re just a bunch of BULLIMIA PROPONENTS--would that change if you became BIODIESEL PEDDLER?  running on booze & pot

Yours,

Baked Poseidon....

after Bob Perelman...& Billy Preston...