Saturday, August 12, 2017

Baked Poseidon (2010)

BP!

1.
Bacchus & Poseidon
were sittin’ in a Bachelor Pad, 
wondering why Bees don’t Pee
But Paul Revere, a Basilisk Python 
of Beach Pus, Blew Past
with his Basso Profundo
& his Barrelhouse Piano
(Booker, Professor, Bobby Picket)
Bumpersticker Prophecies
“The British ‘R’ Pissing
The British ‘R’ Pissing”

Banned Photos of Bird Puke,
Buried Pipefitters, Bloody Paws
Broadcast Preventers, Birth-defect Party
Bankrupt Providers, Bush’s People, 
Bristol Palin Beauty Pageant
Bad Planning Blue Print Blunder Pirates!
Backpedalling Populists, Belch Preservers--
Beloved Putrefaction, and Blocked Punts!
& I can almost smell, your BP Sheets!

Bureaucratic Pollution & Beautiful Pain
Babylonian Pyromaniacs & Blackwater Perverts
B-Movie Protagonists, the Bossy Protocol
of Born-Again Prostitutes, Birds of Prey
Barking Pimps, Biosphere Puncturers
Benzedrine Pushers, Budget Presumption, Blind Privilege
Bombing Pro-Lifers, Boycotting Pedestrians
Briefcase Producer, Bronze Prig!

Blasted Pups! Blasphemous Patricians!
Bizarre-Purposed, Bitter Puritans & Blowout Peddlers
Bill (the) Poor! A Big Puddle Bikini Punishes
Bimbo Punks & Baby Progressives.
Bodacious Psychos, & Bully Price-Fixers. Bulletproof Pricks!
Border Propaganda--Bracero Perpetual & The Bootstrap Property Tax
Bottom-line Plutocracy!
Again, Bill (the) Poor!

2.
“Ball of Pollution, that’s what BP is today, hey hey...”

a bright probe, and a breathless prodigal...
a briney problem--boom proof, bucket pressure, brand-new progress
broad privacy, bubbling promiscuity, byronic prestige...breathing proceeds
branch prometheus, brotherly prime mover, beautiful people
broom prince, bounce pronounce, brain picking, bug preference
botanical prompt, bosom promotion, brawny projectiles, button power
bruise primitive, bittersweet pouch buttocks poseur, buttery porn
buxom populace born popular in busy poorhouse beat poet barefoot & pregnant
beneath pajamas, brilliant profanity barren pornography basin st. prayer
blessed probation brittle prize burnt porpoise broker priority brownie points
Bristly Prissies! Bringdown Prison! 
(breast-beating pity-party)

Oh Brackish Pub of Brave Prohibitors, Box Promoters, Bottom-Line Plutocrats,
Bush-league Polygamists. Ye Billionaire Profits from Bailout Pay, ye Biblical Paradox of the “Boat People,” are you really going to donate money so the community college can stay open? Oh, thank you---thank you...

3.
Here’s some even Better Possibilities for your new advertisement
(clean up your image and the act will follow, right?)
How can we best undo all these people calling you BASTARD PUSSY?
I think you should change from Beyond Petroleum to Bikes & Pedestrians--
just gives people a positive image (don’t worry, you can still sell oil wink wink)

And what about that new song “BLOOD PURSE” by BONDAGE PROVIDENTIAL?
Yeah, I know it’s taking off among the tea-baggers, but our firm held a contest
and check out the top 5 PRO-B-P songs. Here’s a real fun summer song called “BLOW-DRIED PUBERTY” by a neo-beach boys band called THE BOAT PRUDES. A Psychedelic freak-folk band called BON-BON PROVERB’s got a cryptic one called “Bonafied Pseudonym” (I hear the goth gals really love that one, well, until they find out the bands name--we can change the band’s name...) 

We got this Barrelhouse Piano comp (we could even sell at every local franchise of BP; proceeds going to your clean-up) by the Boogie-Woogie Protestants. What do you think, ole boy, surely we could help you bulldoze the present!
Heavy metal band called
BULLET PRESERVATION 
or an all-white Texas gospel choir to sing 
BUILDING PREDESTINATION?
Certainly you must do something now to get rid of all the other names 
you’re being called now---A BATHETIC PERFORMANCE,
or at least a BYZANTINE POLITBURO
How about BANNED PARENTHOOD! 
BYE-BYE PORPOISE, or BOUGHT POPE
Oh, yeah, and of course BOMB PERSIA could make a comeback
Bourgeois Plagiarism, Business Poverty, Bumper-to-Bumper Police State
You’re just a bunch of BULLIMIA PROPONENTS--would that change if you became BIODIESEL PEDDLER?  running on booze & pot

Yours,
Baked Poseidon....


after Bob Perelman...& Billy Preston...