Alternatives to ASKGOOGLE?

A 5 year old needs a bed time story, and perhaps I can be an alternative to ASKGOOGLE ™.

50: “Did you know that once upon a time gas prices were much lower?”

5: “Was that because there was more oil back then?”

50: “Yes, look at this football helmet. Isn’t that oil well cute?”

5: “Sure, but I hate football.”

50: “You see, once upon a time America was proud to be an oil producing country.”

5:  “Was that before George Bush said we’re addicted to oil?

50: Yes, back when they called Climate Change Pollution, and back when there were still walking cities!”

5: What’s a walking city, a city with legs?

50: Oh, there aren’t many left. A town where you don’t need a car!”

5: “Like NYC!”

50: And you’re great grandma told me that our town used to be like that, even in the 50s and 60s.

5: Well, I don’t know if I’d like that. The stores are so far away, and I like when mommy drives me places.”

50: “Yeah, but they used to be closer back in the day and we can make them closer again!”

5: “You mean so we won’t be a food desert anymore.”

50: “How did you know we were in a food desert?

5: Oh, grandma told me…”

5O: Okay, so once upon a time….gas stations used to sell gas for 37 cents a gallon.”

5: People got paid less then, so it cancels out.”

50: But even adjusted for inflation, it was still cheaper then. And Not Only that, back in the days most of the stations would wash your windows, and give you roadmaps. Many had free coffee brewing….

5: I hate coffee…

50: Well, you could save up these James Brown Stamps and get free lamps and toys and stuff if you went enough….

5: Wow, they were so much nicer then.

50: They had to be. They had to seduce. Not everybody was convinced they needed a car, and not just for special monthly trips, yet, so the car makers had to destroy the walking cities (and more self-contained small county seats), before they and the big oil companies could raise prices…..so people were powerless to boycott. Besides, they make America more dependent on plastic…

5: What’s plastic got to do with it?

50: It’s made of oil

5: Oh, but I thought the real reason the price was so high was because of the Arabs, the Muslims got all the oil, and Trump’s gonna kill them and bring oil prices down…

50: He never said that, and he won’t bring oil prices down

5: Why:

50: Because the oil companies don’t have to seduce anymore (especially when they’re secretary of state).

5: But why do they spend billions on advertisements then?”

50: So they can control and censor the content in the mass entertainment media. The news will never say anything bad about them coz they need the revenue. That’s what happened after the BP oil spill.

5: Is that why Google is taking out ads?”

50: Yes, right now the internet is kinda like what gas prices were like in mid-century USA, but now that almost everybody’s hooked, and the pre-internet alternatives largely phased out, it will surely raise prices…

5: they’re high enough now.”

50: In the future, you will look back and see these as the good old (cheap) days (i.e. they’re planning to price you out too)

5: Are you just trying to teach me the meaning of despair?

50: No, I’m leading up to an alternative to Santa Claus called Boycott Claus!”

5: How can we boycott?

50: Well, you can start with your school. Next time they tell you poison is fun, or Lincoln freed the slaves, get your friends together and boycott. The parents got your back….and have some say!

5: But…..what about Draconian Betsy De Vos